Current mood:

sad

got a very funny feeling
I woke up with butterflies today.

I feel like a chess game. I know I got a new journal but I am far too lazy to add anyone. But back to the chess game.

I'm like a knight. I was close. So close. And that's the only problem with having to take the long way to everything. She had the game won in two moves. And while it's not fair, my l-shapes were not getting me anywhere quick enough.

My heart genuinely hurts. For me. For her. For everything I let happen.

When will my penance be over?

I just can't stop crying... I wish you knew that I loved you. I really do. And that you could see how hurt I am and just talk to me so I can have some closure. You took so much from me... and even this small thing is just too much for you to give.

I don't want to give anymore to you. I don't want us all to be so unhappy. I want a chance at something healthy and I want someone who loves me but I can't have that until this one end is tied.

And I can't do it alone.. I've been trying for the last 7 months and I just can't.

I don't have a whole lot of time. But when all of you wake up one day and I'm not here, what will you say then? Will your tune change?

Things often seem better when they're gone.



I don't want him to be sad anymore. Let him know I really do care. If anyone reads this, when you talk to him, please try to help. Since I can't. It makes my heart hurt to see people who deserve so much feel so hopeless.